


2nd reading : When we celebrated Christmas again

by Neen_sama



Series: Road to Christmas [2]
Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 13:56:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16893909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neen_sama/pseuds/Neen_sama
Summary: The first time Satoshi and Nino re-celebrated Christmas after they decided to give their relationship another chance.





	2nd reading : When we celebrated Christmas again

**Author's Note:**

> /!\ WARNING !: I can only recommend you to read my fiction called "When he left me" before or else you'll be spoiled somehow ^^" I don't take any responsibility for spoilers, you've been warned x)

I arrive at the door of Kazu's new apartment with my presents in my arms. We don't live together yet, we prefer to give ourselves time to find each other and adapt to this relationship, which has been paused for almost a year and a half and is now somewhat upset by the existence of his baby, Satoe.

Somewhat impatient and anxious at the same time, my hand rises and my forefinger presses the doorbell that I hear reasoning in the apartment far away. Steps are also heard and soon he is there. This man that I love so much and for which I thank god every night while lying in my bed. He smiles, a little embarrassed, as at each of our dates since we got back together.

\- Konbawa Satoshi.

He no longer calls me by my nickname that I loved so much to hear him pronounce every day at every moment. I imagine that it will take time, certainly more than me, to get back into the habit but I am ready to wait for him, even for 1000 years if necessary.

\- Konbawa. I answer.  
\- Come in, please.

I do as said, put my gifts on the floor and while I take off a layer of clothes and my shoes, he prepares me a pair of slippers and looks at me without saying a word.

\- You ... You didn't have to bring any gifts.  
\- I didn't feel obliged, I wanted to make you happy again and ... Start spoiling the little one too. I said.  
\- How nice.

He then takes me to the living room where my eyes immediately meet the baby, standing in her playpen and firmly grabbing to the bars. When she sees me, she smiles and gives a few chirps, or maybe it's because of her father's return.

\- You can put the gifts under the tree. He said pointing to the TV corner near which is a nice Christmas tree.

I go ahead and when I get back to him, he takes the little one out of the playpen and holds her in his arms while slightly rocking her. The sight of my found lover and his baby makes my heart beat faster in my chest.

\- Can I take her a moment?

He is still a little reluctant, I can see, but he quickly accepts and installs his daughter in my arms. Satoe seems happy and the warmth of her little body is a good to my mood already at the highest. Her little right hand grips my sweater while she stuffed the other in her mouth and stares straight into my eyes. Kazunari remains a moment to observe us and hides his smile badly.

\- Looks like you're more and more comfortable with babies. Besides, she really likes you.  
\- I hope so, anyway.

He takes a moment to look at us and then turns back to the kitchen.

\- I'll prepare her bottle. Settle down, make yourself at home.

I sit on the couch, the little one still sucks her fist and her head rest against my chest. It was when the scent of baby soap invaded my nostrils that I realized that Kazu probably had to bathe herd a little before I arrived. My hand rises timidly to Satoe's head and my fingers brush the ebony hair that covers her head, she has many. At least more than I imagined for a baby.

The next second, I jump at hearing her discontent grumble frowning, then I laugh quietly because it reminds me a lot of her father when he doesn't have what he wants. This one responds to the complaint from the kitchen.

\- Yes, baby, I'm coming right away.

He is adorable. I would never have believed this man with such ease to look after a child. It must be said that being two men and rather young, we never asked ourselves the question of parenthood during our relationship and I didn't know anything about this facet of Kazu, until some time ago.

After a few more minutes animated by the babbling of the baby, her father comes back with a bottle probably nicely warm and a bib. He settles next to me and, without meeting my eyes, takes Satoe to install her on his knees, put on her bib and finally give her her evening meal. I look at them. Kazu's eyes reflect only infinite love. I know it, because when our eyes plunged into each other once, these were the same eyes I saw. Now they are no longer intended for me and I can understand it.

He smiles at her and sometimes whispers things that I don't perceive. When the bottle was emptied entirely thanks to the ogre's appetite of the little one. Kazu sits down and pats her back. She emits a light burp that snatches me a smile a few seconds later and her father kisses her before putting her comfortably against him. He finally turns to me.

\- I prefer to wait until she's in bed to have dinner, will you? We will be at ease, she doesn't wake up at night since a while.  
\- As you wish. I answer him with a smile.

He blushes violently and looks away again.

\- Well ... did you say you had a present for her?  
\- Hum.

I get up and take my present under the Christmas tree and then hand it to Kazunari. He grabs it and shows it to the baby who seems more interested in the gift string than anything else.

\- What is it ? A present for you ? It's Satoyan who brought it ...

He stops briefly in his sentence and resumes quickly but the joy has had time to settle in the pit of my stomach to the sound of the nickname he used to give me.

\- What is it ? He continues unpacking the packaging to reveal my gift: a small blue octopus plush adorned with stars.

He chuckles probably remembering my taste for marine animals and shakes the plushie first without saying anything in front of the eyes of the girl who has already grabbed two tentacles and stuffed one into her mouth.

\- Satoyan loves sea animals? I already told you? Looks like his gift pleases you.  
\- I wanted her to know ... Who had offered her ... So I thought I would take a fish or something of the style ...  
\- I think you made success.

And that's the first real smile he gives me since I arrived.

Only a few minutes later, Satoe's eyes begin to flutter but her little hands still don't let go of the octopus.

\- I think she's sleepy. I say, going to caress the cheek of the little one with the tip of the index finger.  
\- Don't miss it, as soon as she drank Papa's bottle, she fall asleep. Ne Ojou-sama?

The baby doesn't answer him of course and he gets up, ready to go to the living room door to put her to bed.

\- You ... you want to come send her to bed and say good night to her with me?  
\- I don't mind.

And here we are, walking as gently as possible to the little girl's room, which I had never seen. Expert since all this time, Kazu takes a step to the right when entering and lights a small lamp placed on a dresser decorated with flowers, giving the room a soft light that will not attack the sleepy baby's eyes.

He then approaches the bed where he places Satoe and folds a light duvet on her and gives her pacifier just before she closed her eyes totally. His fingers caress her head delicately and he whispers:

\- Sweet dreams, my princess.

He stays there a little while and I watch the scene. I was really sure of nothing when I got back with him, I wanted to see if this life would suit me, if I could adapt to the presence of his child but here and now I am sure, I don't want to adapt. This is the life I want, I don't just want to get used to Satoe in the middle of our relationship, I want her in my life as much as him. I want to be part of hers, to be there for her because unconsciously, I realize that she is all that I desired.

Yes, without realizing it, I dreamed of the most perfect child we could have, Kazu and me. A child who would look just like him, who would be all that I love in him and now Satoe exists and she is everything I imagined. Without taking my eyes off the small octopus she holds tight in her arms, mine wrap around Kazu's waist. Immediately, he wriggles his throat and stands up, undoing the emerging embrace.

\- Are you hungry ? He whispers before gently pushing me out of the room.

He then leads me to the kitchen where we sit facing each other in front of our plate. We start the meal without a word but I end up breaking the silence very quickly.

\- Kazu?  
\- Hum?  
\- I didn't want to rush you to the room just now.

He lowers his head and nervously wavers his fork in his plate of pasta.

\- You didn't rush me Satoshi, it's me who blame myself, that's all. Because you still love me so much even if I hurted you so much ...  
\- I already told you to forget that, you've been forgiven for a long time.  
\- I can't forget, Satoe is here to remind me forever the mistake I made.  
\- It may have been a mistake, but don't tell me you're not happy, in a sense, to have done it.

I can clearly see him clenching his teeth behind his closed lips.

\- I'm happy that Satoe was born, not the rest.  
\- There is a difference between what we felt for each other and the fact that you slept with your daughter's mother once.  
\- What do you know about that ? I was drunk dead, I hardly remember, who tell you that deep down, I don't like women?  
\- Did you love Satoe's mother? Did you feel the same as for me?  
\- No ...  
\- Then you will understand that I don't blame you. Because I trust you and you weren't in love with her. I can't tell you that I don't feel a little deceived but there is a difference between cheating on your partner once in these circumstances and cheating on him several times because you love someone else. Don't doubt you anymore because I love you and I want to be a family with you and Satoe.  
\- Are you ... serious? You want to get involved at this point?  
\- Yes of course.  
\- You are seriously too good to be real, Satoyan.

Finally, he gives me back my nickname and before I really realize it, he kisses me over the table. This is the first time since I found him and I missed it. He sits down and smiles at me.

\- I really like this little octopus that you offered to Satoe.  
\- Say, is that true that you told her about me all this time?  
\- Hum. I guess I needed it somehow and I wanted her to know about your existence. She's still a baby, I doubt that it has any impact on her at the moment but I wanted her to know what a wonderful man you were.  
\- Now she will know it, because she will see it with her own eyes.  
\- I know.

A few minutes later, we finish our plates and we settle on the couch, him snuggled comfortably in my arms.

\- Kazu-chan, didn't you lose weight? I say, noting the difference by our embrace.  
\- Just a little, it's been months that I don't sit still to play videogames and I go to work by bike.  
\- I will miss your little piece of fat. I say, laughing.  
\- Don't count on me to take it back. He replies in the same tone.

We stay there in the soothing silence of the living room a few minutes looking at the lights of the Christmas tree and appreciate the warmth of each other, it is then that my gaze is placed on the package that I intended for Kazu and that I let go of his embrace.

\- What's the matter ?  
\- I forgot to give you your gift.

I get up and grab the present under the tree and give it to Kazu, waiting for his reaction.

\- It's huge, Satoyan ... I don't even have one for you...  
\- Forget it, you already gave me a lot by letting me be with you again.

For a moment, I thought he would refuse my gift and give it back to me but no, he just stares at me for a moment then he tears the packaging and frowns when he finds out what I have offered him. His head turns to me and he laughs.

\- A sketchbook? I don't draw Satoyan, it's more your job.  
\- Open it.

He does and remains speechless, speechless in front of the pages he scrolls, all filled with drawings of him, and quickly tears run down his face.

\- That's pretty much everything I've drawn since you're gone, but I had a bit of room left and something else inspired me.

He rushes to the very last pages and discovers my sketches from the last few weeks, sketches of him and Satoe. He touches the paper with his fingertips and smiles in the middle of his tears.

\- You've had nothing but me in mind for almost a year and a half?

I was going to answer but he does not give me time and bury me under a shower of kisses. When he separates from me, his eyes hold mine and his hands grab my t-shirt.

\- Marry me !  
\- What?  
\- We will go elsewhere ! Abroad ! Or so we don't care about the law! We gather our families and close friends and we will formalize our union, just for us! We don't need any priest or piece of paper! I love you Satoshi!

In front of his enthusiastic response, I can't help laughing a little bit then my hand slips into his hair and I kiss him.

\- I love you too, of course I want to marry you, no matter the way, as long as we are together.

He squeezes me again in his arms and I answer of course to his embrace by sticking my cheek to his head. I know it, that's where my place is, between the arms of this wonderful man.

\- Merry Christmas, Kazu.  
\- Merry Christmas, Satoyan.


End file.
